Päiväntasaajan tuolla puolen

My Brazilian Coordinator coming to Finland!

I was cleaning my room and listening to Ivete Sangalo when my  Brazilian coordinator came to talk to me in skype. He is coming to Finland in September! He asked if I can do a dance demo with him and of course I sad yes. So me and forró, once again, here we come...! We'll have to see how it goes after  months dancing just salsa. 

About me readapting to Finland. Of course I have, somewhat, adapted. +15 doesn't feel freezing cold, I use normal length shirts, but also am unfortunately more reserved and still feel sad about being in Finland. Yes, every single day. This wasn't the aftermath I was waiting for after homecoming...

I didn't remember that the Finnish school is so exhausting. Not the amount of homework, but just paying attention, writing down, doing the tasks. I use a lot of energy at school and I'm super tired afterwards. 

Oh well, I will go back to Brazil in the summer! Already saving the money;) 

Vacay almost over :(

Seven days and then it's back to my Finnish school... Kind of dreading to go back there after this long pause. I can't remember how it actually is to study, but my main concern are the people.

Well, I guess I'll just have to be open-minded and skip the Finnish mentality of "no-i-can't-talk-to-anybody" and "just-keep-your-gaze-low-oh!-what-a-nice-window"

Whatever.

I came home from Brazil the 22nd of June, I spent midsummer at our summer cottage (in a deepish reverse culture shock), spent a weekend sailing in the archipelago, went to a few parties, hung around with my friends, but in the middle of July our family left to Chicago/Minneapolis and we came back today. So that was my summer vacations.

Back to school...

This. Jetlag. Is. KILLING. Me

Its 3.30am and I'm not tired at all. Totalmente sem sono. I can't sleep. The sun rose already (thanks to the weird position of this country on the top of the world)

I don't want to sleep. I know I have to sleep, at least try and get accustomed to the time zone of Finland (+6hrs to Brazil / GMT +3hrs). But to be honest, I just don't feel like it.

I prefer using my good nights sleep to talking to my friends in the internet (yes, some of them are actually going as crazy as me, some of them not), planning my life, reading magazines that I haven't read in a year.

Last but most importantly I've been listening to my awesome Brazilian music (over 5000 songs) almost 24/7 after I got home from the airport. (It's on now too, ofc.) It reminds me of all the good moments and wonderful people I met and got to know during my stay down there. And the music is just plain good. I miss dancing a lot.

The other side of the world. So frieking far away (and so expensive to go, since flight tickets are kinda expensive), like I even would have the time to visit there properly.

I guess my next visit to the land I love will have to be (re?)scheduled to my next summervacation... So roughly 48 weeks to go. Very positive thinking. No, just kidding. The year will go fast. At least I hope so. I just have to figure out something to do. It's not good to stay alone thinking about everything (hmm, you could also rephrase Brasil, but whatever) and getting depressed at home.

I will study, study and study (see if it's possible to get out of this boring place they also call lukio earlier than in March 2013), get my drivers license, dance, swim, coach swimming, go to my art school and try to see my friends and go to a few parties in between too. See how I'll fit this all together... I hope the time will go even faster than I hope it will. I think I actually left my heart on the other side of the Atlantic... Too bad, because my body is over here now.

At least they promised good weathers for next week... The +13 and raining when I stepped out from Helsinki-Vantaa airport was  a shock WAY too big for me. Luckily it got a bit better.

I still miss Brazil. I will always miss my friends from there, the happiness and easiness, relaxed lifestyle, "theres a way to resolve everything" -mentality and the feeling how I felt myself in that awesome country.

But it's just a matter of time...

Até logo, Brasil.  

Game over - time to say goodbye, ate mais

21st of June was my last whole day in Brazil, my plane was scheduled to leave SLZ the 22nd 15:42... So don't count the days to me, when I was already counting the hours. My last full day I spent dancing, eating and hanging out with Clara and my dance teacher, who are both extremely important to me. So different types of people, we fill each other well and I've learned so much from them and they from me. Some people during this year had a bigger and some not that big, impact on me, my views of myself, the world and life. I'm extremely happy and feel so happy that I had the priviledge to know these people, become their friends. Ultimately they helped me to open myself up, gain more self-confidence, not care that much of what others might think learned to live without the fear of living, relax and being more positive. I could say that they made me really think, to get me out of my comfortzone and made me want to try new things and gain the courage. I don't have to say any names here, I know my girls know what and who I'm talking about. Yes, I had an awesome year, magnificent experiences etc etc, but what I'm most happy about is the personal growth and awarness of myself and of what I can do (everything if I want to!) It turned out to be the most satisfying part of the year. I knew I would come back more independent, mature, selfconfident etc, but I had no idea of the scale that I would change. I barely remember the person I was before going and com certeza I will never ever be that person again. I know myself so much better and this is the most rewarding part of my exchange year. After all you have to live with yourself your whole life. But now I'm sitting in my sommarcottage in the countryside of Finland, listening to music and (thanksthanksthanks!) we actually do have internet here, even though it's slow. It's also rainy and theres more mosquitoes that I remembered... I don' want to let them eat me alive, but (oh I almost forgot) it's so frieking cold so i'm wearing so much clothes that theres no skin for the mosquitoes to bite on... Hahah It was a huge shock to come back. At the airport in Helsinki (after starting to cry in Frankfurt, just of the sight of so many northeuropean people :p ) I couldn't get a word out of my mouth. I just felt like I was completely frozen, couldn't think or talk straight and just stared at everything and everybody with this weird feeling that I don't belong here. We thought with the other exchange students that it would feel like you never left, but oh yes I felt it that I just spent a year far far away from everything Finnish. Now I've been in Finland a few days and the differences are almost cruel. Both of the places have their good sides, but for now I feel like my daily life is still in Brazil, but I will just start calling myself and "reintegrate" myself to my Finnish reality. I'm sure it will go well, even though I miss Brazil and all my friends from there. For everybody who's considering of doing an exchange year abroad, I advise (as strongly as I ever can) to do it. It was the best choice of my life to tske the chance and spend a year in a place where I only knew the name and language. My jump to the unknown proved to be worth of all the "minor sacrifices" I had to make, such as leaving my family, friends and studying for a year. But my year in Brazil gave me experiencies, insights, thoughts, ideas, views, changes, chances and possibilities who those who won't do and exchange can never have. I would even go that far and say that I think every single person should try living abroad just to discover themselves better. HAPPY MIDSUMMER, HAUSKAA JUHANNUSTA, FELIZ DIA DO SAO JOAO !